Aging Well: The More You Complain the Longer God Lets You Live

Robert Beckum

Driving to my office, I saw a bumper sticker which caused me to wince. It read, “The More You Complain the Longer God Lets You Live.” Little did I know the sticker was an omen for my day. Before nine o’clock, a man called asking for help. “You know my mama,” he said. “She complains about everything, and now she’s complaining about the car I’ve bought for her.” “What did you buy?” I asked. “A Mercury Grand Marquis,” he said. Then, he explained, “She’s ninety years old and I don’t want her driving at all, but she refuses to give up her car; so, I got one I thought was safe.” He then made his plea for my help: “Would you mind making a pastoral visit to help smooth the waters with her?” Now, I knew better, but on this day I chose to ignore the way of wisdom (some would say common sense) and dashed off on this fool-hearted errand.I found Miss Sarah and asked about her new car. She muttered her dissatisfaction. I told her I drove a Mercury Grand Marquis and loved it. As I began to point out the car’s safety features, she held up her hand and said, “Now you can stop right there! I know why you’re here, and you’re wasting your time.” With dripping sarcasm, she added, “I’m so glad you like your car. But as far as I’m concerned those things have ‘Old Fart’ written all over them, and I’m not having one. My son knows what I want and I mean to get it!” Having been dissed by a ninety year old, my first thought was, “I really need to think about trading my car.” I managed to ask, “What exactly do you want Miss Sarah?” Her response was immediate: “I want a red convertible! I want to feel the wind in my hair when I drive!” I listened in amazement. Sarah was a life-long free spirit. She was an artist and concert pianist. At age ninety, she wanted to feel the wind in her hair as she drove.

After a polite retreat, I called her son to report my failure and suggested he go with the red convertible. “I was afraid you were going to say that,” he replied with a voice of resignation. For three years before her death, I delighted in seeing Sarah drive her red convertible around town, with her hair blowing in the wind. She never got a traffic ticket or had so much as a fender-bender. She knew what she wanted and she was not about to give in to the prejudices directed toward seniors—-even if it meant being branded a “complainer.” Sarah blessed me with a new vision for aging. I desperately want to live to be ninety and fight my son for a red convertible! Let him call me a “complainer” all he wants. Those of us who have the wind blowing in our hair as we drive will probably outlive them all.

Rev. Robert Beckum is Vice President of Church Relations and Development of Magnolia Manor.