Aging Well: Elder Care

Robert Beckum

With medical science constantly extending life expectancy, baby boomers will be facing the important challenge of caring for elderly parents on a larger scale than any generation before them. The Family Caregiver Alliance estimates 22.5 million people are currently involved in elder care-giving in the United States alone. These numbers will more than double to some 50 million by 2020. There are few roles in life more rewarding or more stressful than caring for elderly parents.

Who are these caregivers?65% of elder caregivers are women.The average caregiver is 49 years old, married, and works outside of the home earning an annual income of $35,000.On average, these women spend a total of 12 years out of the workforce raising children and caring for an older relative.33% of these women decreased their work hours to care for an older loved one, 29% passed up a job or promotion because of elder care-giving demands, 16% had to quit their jobs and 13% retired early because of care-giving responsibilities.Most alarmingly, women who provide care for elderly loved ones are six times more likely than the general population to suffer symptoms of depression, anxiety and debilitating physical illness resulting from their care-giving activities.

While there are many personal and relational rewards in caring for our elders, care-giving is an extremely stressful and, from a health perspective, dangerous undertaking. Learning to care for oneself while caring for others will be the biggest challenge facing many baby boomers in the next twenty years. Ted Conover, writing for the New York Times Magazine, states the issue clearly: “The American dilemma, in the twenty-first century, is what to do about the hidden costs of longevity—-not just the economic ones, but the intimate, personal costs as well.”The truth of the matter is we need to be much more intentional about support systems and resources for elder caregivers in our culture. It is obvious family caregivers will play an expanding and increasingly important role in the care of senior adults for at least the next two generations.

One of the best resources I’ve found is a book entitled, Fourteen Friends’ Guide to Elder Caring (Broadway Books). Of course, I do not think reading a book will provide instant solutions to all the complicated challenges of elder care-giving. But this is not “just a book.” It is the sharing of personal journeys by elder caregivers that is both informative and inspiring. Fourteen women, friends since high school, share their struggles, joys and what they have learned as each cares for their elderly parents. It is written as an invitation to a fifteenth person, the reader, to join them on this care-giving journey. If you are in the role of caregiver for an elderly loved one, I can’t urge you strongly enough to buy a copy and share the journey with them. I believe it will be the best investment in self care you can make.

Rev. Robert Beckum Vice President of Church Relations and Development Magnolia Manor.